Franbu Juice
by Amaranth Traces
Summary: SamDaniel. Season 9 TeamFriendship. SG1 participates in an offworld ritual with unexpected results. Just in time for Halloween!
1. Chapter 1

**Franbu Juice **

_Genres: _Humour, Holiday  
_Pairings:_ Sam/Daniel, like, duh.  
_Spoilers:_ Foothold, Smoke & Mirrors, Babylon, 200  
_Season:_ Nine, a little after Arthur's Mantle  
_Rating: _K+, for a bit of potty mouth.  
_Disclaimer: _I don't own Stargate, blah, blah, blah. I'm just playing with them for a little while. I'll give them back when I'm done. Promise.

_Summary:_ SG-1 participates in an off-world ritual with unexpected results. Just in time for Halloween!

_Note:_ Thanks a million to my beta extraordinaire, Thraesja. I can always count on her to point and laugh at my mistakes. What would I do without you, Thrae?

**-- Chapter One -- **

"I'm very sorry," said the village elder. "I thought you understood the purpose of the ritual."

Daniel wrinkled his nose and stared down at his muddy boots. He really should have figured it out sooner. Certainly before the entire team had consumed multiple cupfuls of the ceremonial juice.

Mitchell waved a hand at the elder. "You know what? Don't worry about it. This is kinda cool."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Cool?"

"Yeah! This is like a dream come true!" Mitchell jumped into a puddle left by the rainstorm the night before and looked up with a broad grin. "I mean, think of the fun we can have!"

"The newbie's right," Sam giggled. "This could be fun." She turned her face up to the sky and outstretched her arms, spinning around in a circle.

Daniel caught her when she stumbled. "You're kidding, right?"

She beamed up at him as she regained her footing in the slippery mud. "Come on, Daniel. Live a little."

"I am certain someone will notice," said Teal'c.

"Nuh-uh!" said Mitchell. "We can pretend! No one will notice anything."

"Yeah, and it'll wear off by tomorrow." Sam looked over at the village elder. "Right?"

The old man nodded vigorously. "Oh, yes. The effects of the franbu juice always go away after one sleep." He gave them a broad grin. "Every year, the Ritual of Rejuvenation gives all of us a chance to get reacquainted with our inner— Hey!" With arthritic fingers, he scraped a glob of mud from his cheek.

He turned to an elderly woman standing some distance away. Her hand was covered in mud, and she was grinning wickedly at him.

"I'll get you for that!" he shouted. The woman let out a scream of laughter as he began to chase her through the village.

Mitchell snickered at them. "Look at 'em go!"

"I believe we should return to the stargate," said Teal'c.

The four members of SG-1 nodded and started on their way.

"This is weird," said Daniel.

"It is indeed most unusual."

"Come on, Teal'c! Talk normal!" moaned Mitchell. "'It is indeed most unusual!' Give me a break! And yeah, Jackson, it's weird, but it's also cool." He jumped into another puddle, this time splashing Sam with muddy water. "Whoops!" He clamped a hand over his mouth but failed to stifle his laughter.

"Hey!" Sam tried to brush off her uniform but only succeeded in spreading the dirt to her hands as well. She looked up at Mitchell, her eyes narrowing. "Oh, you are so goin' down!"

Daniel couldn't help but laugh as he watched Sam chase Mitchell across the muddy landscape. The forest was particularly dense between the village and the gate, and the trail through it was narrow but picturesque. Or it would have been if there wasn't two inches of squishy mud everywhere. At least the trees lining the trail had branches that were perfectly-spaced for climbing. Daniel tried to remember how long it had been since he'd climbed a tree.

Teal'c laid a hand on his shoulder. "I am pleased that you have decided to enjoy the opportunity presented by our current situation, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel shrugged as Sam and Mitchell scrambled around a corner in the tree-lined trail. "I don't know if I'd go that far, Teal'c. This didn't go so well for me the first time around, you know."

"Then perhaps you should look at this situation as a chance to experience some of the joyous events that you missed."

"Y'know, Mitchell's right. You do talk funny."

Teal'c stuck his lower lip out. The sight of the Jaffa so obviously pouting was enough to make Daniel double over in laughter. "Okay, you're right," he said once he had caught his breath again. "How often do we get a chance like this? We can have a lot of fun."

Sam and Mitchell were certainly loving the situation. Even Teal'c seemed to be taking advantage of it. Daniel decided to make an effort to relax and enjoy himself.

The two of them rounded the corner to find Mitchell sprawled face down in the mud and Sam sitting on top of him, wrenching his arm behind his back. A triumphant grin lit up her face. Teal'c and Daniel both laughed at the sight.

"Come on!" Mitchell said, squirming underneath her. "Ow! Let me up!"

Sam bopped him on the back of his head with her palm. "Not 'til you admit it!"

"No way! I won't do it!"

Sam smirked at Daniel and Teal'c and began poking Mitchell's sides with her fingers. "I'm not getting up until you say it!"

"Stop! That tickles!"

"Say it!"

"Okay, okay. Girls rule!"

"And?"

Mitchell groaned and made another wriggling effort to free himself. "And boys drool," he finally mumbled into the mud.

Sam grinned and bounced once on top of him. "You better believe it, buster."

"Now let me up before you give me your cooties!"

She rolled her eyes melodramatically and reached out to Daniel. He took her hand, helping her up.

"Don't touch her!" said Mitchell. "You'll get infested!"

Daniel made a face as Teal'c pulled Mitchell out of the mud. "Sam's cooties don't bother me." Quite the opposite, actually. They filled his tummy with wonderful butterflies, but he wasn't about to tell Mitchell that.

"You mean it?" asked Sam.

Daniel felt a blush creep up his neck and across his face. He ducked his head to try to hide it. Sam gave a cute little laugh and linked her arm with his.

They both turned at the sound of a shout followed by a splat. Mitchell was in the mud again. This time, he had fallen on his rear end. And he was scowling up at Teal'c.

"You did that on purpose!"

Teal'c ducked the handful of mud that Mitchell lobbed at him. "I believe you are mistaken."

Mitchell narrowed his eyes at the Jaffa and climbed out of the mud once more.

"We better get back to the gate," said Sam. "Landry's gonna be so mad that we're late!"

A few minutes later, the stargate was in sight. Teal'c nudged Daniel's arm and nodded in Mitchell's direction. Daniel watched as Teal'c tipped his staff weapon to tangle in Mitchell's feet. The Colonel fell headlong into the mud. Sam snorted.

Mitchell's face was probably red with anger, but Daniel couldn't tell through all the mud. "Will you quit doing that?" Mitchell shouted. He sprang to his feet and charged at Teal'c.

Daniel laughed as Mitchell literally bounced off of Teal'c's solid form and landed yet again on the ground. "That musta hurt."

Mitchell grimaced and rubbed his backside as Teal'c chuckled at him.

"What did you expect, you big doofus?" asked Sam. "He's a Jaffa. You're just a wimpy little boy."

"Hey," Daniel said. "I'm a boy, too."

"Yes, but you're a nice boy. And not stinky like the newbie." Sam smiled at him and squeezed his arm. "And I like you," she finished softly.

Daniel raised his eyebrows. "You do?"

"Uh huh." She nodded solemnly. "A whole lot. But it's a secret, okay?"

Daniel was blushing again. "I like you a whole lot too," he whispered.

"Really?"

Daniel licked his lips and nodded. Sam smiled broadly and took his hand in hers.

Mitchell groaned loudly. "Gross!" Then, he took off down the trail, shouting over his shoulder. "Last one to the gate's a rotten egg!"

Sam dropped Daniel's hand and sprinted after Mitchell. "Hey! No fair, you big cheater!"

Teal'c and Daniel followed them, and Teal'c quickly caught up to Mitchell. With a deft nudge of his hip, the Jaffa managed to knock Mitchell off course and into a tree. Sam leapt over him as he fell, and she reached back for Daniel's hand after he'd done the same. Daniel, Sam and Teal'c exchanged a round of high-fives when they reached the DHD.

A few moments later, a grumbling Mitchell joined them.

Sam grinned at him. "So, Rotten Egg, what are we going to tell everybody?"

"Assuming that I ignore your obvious mutiny..." Mitchell glowered at Teal'c briefly before continuing. "We'll just tell them that we had a good mission, and that nothing bad happened, and we're really tired, and we want to go home to rest."

"Are we sure that's the responsible thing to do?" asked Daniel.

"Oh, please!" Mitchell tilted his head back and stared at the cloudy sky. "I hate always having to do the responsible thing. This time we have the perfect excuse not to!"

Daniel looked at Teal'c, who shrugged, and then at Sam.

She shrugged too. "If we're not back to our old selves by tomorrow, we'll tell them what happened. No biggie."

"Okay, so we're all good with the plan, then?" asked Mitchell. "We all look completely normal. We just won't tell anyone that we drank personality youngifying juice stuff."

Daniel wrinkled his nose at the word 'youngifying', but decided not to comment.

"We don't all look normal." Sam poked at Mitchell's grime-encrusted uniform. "You don't usually look like a mud monster."

Mitchell slapped Sam's hand away. "My point is, tonight's Halloween and I wanna enjoy feeling like a kid again."

He crossed his arms across his chest and seemed to be trying to look authoritative. But a blob of mud fell off his forehead at that moment, completely ruining the illusion. Daniel snickered.

"I think the newbie's right," Sam said. "Halloween could be so cool!" Her eyes widened, sparkling with sudden excitement. "Ooh, I just had a great idea for costumes!"

"We all have to agree." Mitchell put out one hand out, palm down. "Are you in?"

Sam smiled and put her hand on top of Mitchell's. Teal'c gave a broad grin and placed his hand over Sam's.

Daniel scratched his head. There was something he was supposed to do that night, but he couldn't remember what it was.

"You in, Jackson?" asked Mitchell.

Sam looked eagerly at Daniel and he smiled as the butterflies started dancing again. Whatever he was forgetting, it could wait. It wasn't often one was given the opportunity to be a kid again. And Sam had said she liked him. A whole lot.

He put his hand on top of Teal'c's.

Mitchell nodded. "Good. It's settled then. We'll pretend everything's normal, and then go have the best Halloween ever!"

They broke their huddle and Daniel went to dial the gate. After it whooshed to life and they sent their IDC, the four of them started up the steps to the wormhole.

"Oh, man!"

Everyone turned to look at Mitchell, who had stopped a few steps behind them.

"What now?" asked Sam.

"We should have gotten some of that juice stuff for the General!"

**To be continued...  
Please read and review. **


	2. Chapter 2

**-- Chapter Two -- **

Cam carefully examined General Landry's expression as they came down the ramp. He decided Landry didn't look angry that they were a bit late.

"Glad you're back safe and sound, if a little muddy," said Landry.

Sam snorted. "A little?"

Cam glared at her as another glob of mud fell off his uniform and onto the ramp. Girls were so annoying.

Landry gave her a funny look, and Teal'c nudged her shoulder. She cleared her throat, looking away. Cam smirked; she totally sucked at pretending.

"What's the word?" Landry asked.

Cam straightened up, standing at attention. "They never heard of the Ori or Merlin and haven't seen any Priors, General Landry, sir. But we told them what to do if any came by."

"And the mud?"

Oh, crap. The mud. Cam's mind raced for an explanation that didn't include him being tackled to the ground by a girl, of all things.

"It rained," Jackson answered. "A lot."

"Indeed," said Teal'c gravely.

Whew. Cam nodded vigorously. "Yeah, I was in charge of, um, finding all the slippery spots."

Landry looked him up and down. "Looks like you found them."

"Yes, sir," said Sam, patting Cam hard on the back. More of a slap, Cam thought irritably. "He did a real good job."

"Alright. Why don't you get to the infirmary? You can report on your mission when you're done there."

Cam scowled at Sam and took a step down the ramp. "Actually, General Landry, sir, it was a very boring mission. And we're all pretty tired. Long hike to and from the village. Maybe we can have our debriefing tomorrow? We'd really like to go home and go to bed early." He gave the rest of the team a pointed look and they all nodded.

Landry narrowed his eyes slightly, but nodded. "Very well. Go to the infirmary and get yourselves checked out. If Doctor Lam clears you to leave, you can go."

"Thank you!" Cam shouted over his shoulder, already halfway to the door.

"Bye!" Sam said as the rest of the team hurried after him.

By saying as little as possible, the four members of SG-1 managed to fool Dr. Lam and her staff into believing that they were all perfectly normal. Once they were cleared, they met up in Sam's lab, though Cam stopped along the way to change into a non-muddified uniform.

"Okay," Sam said, looking around as if to see if anyone was within earshot. "I have an idea for what we could do for Halloween." She looked at Cam solemnly. "I'm going to need your help, Newbie."

"Will you stop calling me that?"

"What?" Her eyes widened in innocence. "I can't help what's true!"

"I've been here almost a whole year! And I've known you forever."

"And the rest of us have been here nine times that long. Besides," Sam said, thrusting her chin in the air. "This team was mine before it was yours."

Cam groaned. "Whatever. What's your stupid plan?"

"Hey, Sam's plans aren't stupid," said Jackson. It figured he'd stick up for the Cootie Queen.

Teal'c nodded. "Her plans have saved the galaxy on numerous occasions."

"Thanks guys!" Sam giggled and ducked her head. "You're so sweet!" Then she glared at Cam. "You could learn a thing or two from them, Newbie."

He rolled his eyes. "And are you going to be telling us your oh-so-very-brilliant-super-mega-smart plan any time soon?"

"What do you guys think of the Fantastic Four?"

"Who are they?"

Cam stared at Jackson. How could he not know who the Fantastic Four were? The guy really needed to get out more. "Comic book heroes! It's perfect!" He gave Jackson a broad grin. This was going to be so much fun! "I call Human Torch!"

"Good," said Sam. "You bug me a lot, so you'll be perfect to play my baby brother. 'Cause I'll have to be the Invisible Woman." She turned to Jackson and hooked her arm under his. "And you can be Mr. Fantastic." She stroked his arm playfully. "He's the Invisible Woman's husband, you know."

Ewwww. Cam rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. I think I'm going to barf."

"I shall be The Thing," said Teal'c.

Cam chuckled and patted him on the shoulder. "Works out pretty well, doesn't it Jaffa-man?" Teal'c was already pretty Thing-like.

Jackson smiled shyly at Sam, who was still clinging to his arm. "What kind of costumes do we need?"

"That's why I need the Newbie's help." Sam nodded matter-of-factly, as if she knew everything in the whole wide world. "We need to go to the vault and get some stuff."

"Alright," said Cam, looking at Jackson and Teal'c. "You two wait here. The brainiac and I will be right back."

Cam and Sam walked through the maze of corridors and elevators to get to the vault. As they got closer, Sam turned to him. "You just let me do all the talking."

"Hey, I'm the one in charge of this team."

She scowled fiercely at him, and he decided to back down. "Fine," he grumbled. She was no good at pretending. When she screwed it up, she'd have to admit she wasn't as smart as she thought she was.

"Watch and learn, Newbie."

They walked up to the guard on duty at the vault. Sam stood up straight and looked the guard right in the eye. "I'd like to run tests on some of the devices."

The guard looked down at her empty hands. "Um, where's your equipment, Colonel Carter?"

"I didn't bring any. I'm not going to run the tests here."

"Oh." The guard looked very confused. "I'm not sure I'm allowed to do that..."

"Look," said Sam. "I'm a colonel and you're just a little airman. That means I'm the boss of you. Now let us in."

The guard's eyes widened in surprise. "Are you feeling alright, ma'am?"

Cam tried not to laugh. Sam was so going down. He was about to save the day and his Halloween night when she huffed out a heavy sigh.

"I'm fine," she said. "I'm just really tired and I have a lot of work to do. Important galaxy-saving stuff, you know."

"Yes, ma'am." The guard opened the vault and stepped out of the way. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to get in the way of saving the world, Colonels."

Sam went into the vault and Cam followed. He brushed past the guard, giving him the evil eye. "Just don't make a habit out of it."

A few minutes later, the two of them were headed back to Sam's lab with their pockets stuffed full of alien devices.

Cam was excited at all the cool stuff they had borrowed, and pretty amazed that Sam hadn't blown their cover. "I can't believe you lied to the guard! You're gonna be in so much trouble if we get caught!"

"I didn't lie. We are going to run tests. Field tests. Besides, you're the one in charge of this team, remember? If anyone gets in trouble, it'll be you."

"That is so not fair!"

When they arrived back at the lab, Sam gathered the equipment she'd need for whatever it was she had planned into a bag. Finally, the four of them made their way as nonchalantly as possible out of the mountain.

In the parking lot, they stopped, staring at the cars. There was a brief discussion about who should drive, and then they finally piled into Jackson's car. He made everyone promise to be quiet until they got to his place. He drove really slowly, which drove Cam really crazy.

"Phew!" Cam said as he closed the door to Jackson's house. "I didn't think we'd ever get here!" He turned to Sam, his hands on his hips. "Now can you tell us what the plan is?"

She was busy supervising as everyone emptied her pockets. "Okay," she said. "We have an Asgard anti-gravity device, one of those cloaking things we got from the Sodan—"

"Cool!" Cam picked it up and put it on his arm.

Sam grabbed it back. "That's for me. Invisible Woman, remember?"

"Well, what do I get?"

She held up a small, flat, round object with a red stone in the centre. "Well, for starters, you guys each get one of these. They're the mimic devices used by the aliens who tried to take over the SGC six years ago."

Teal'c took one of the devices. "Were these not being kept at Area 51?"

"They were until that whole thing when Kinsey was almost killed. After that, it was pretty clear that security at Area 51 was really crappy. So we moved them to the SGC vault."

"These are going to be our costumes?" asked Jackson. "I thought they only held a new image for a few minutes."

"You're right, Daniel. As always." Sam smiled at him in a way that made Cam's stomach feel ucky. "I've been tweaking them for a while now, and I think I can get them to work for a longer period of time."

She put one of the devices onto something she pulled out of her bag and hooked the whole contraption up to her laptop. "Let's see if this will work," she muttered as she began typing away.

A few minutes later, she picked up the device again. "There," she said, handing the device to Cam. "Put that on."

Cam put the device on and looked at his hand carefully. "Nothing happened. Did something happen?"

Jackson and Teal'c shook their heads.

"Push the middle crystal," said Sam.

"What's that going to—" Cam pushed the crystal, and suddenly, his hands were engulfed in flames. But he felt no heat. "Oh my God! This is amazing! Sam, I take back every mean thing I ever said about you!"

Jackson was staring at him with wide eyes. "Mitchell, you're on fire!"

"It just looks that way, I swear! Oh man! This is going to be the best Halloween ever! I'm the Human Torch! Whoosh!" He began running around the room as fast as he could while the others turned back to Sam. She was typing into her laptop again, programming the next costume.

A short time later, everyone had their basic costumes ready.

"Okay, Daniel," Sam said as she showed Jackson the controls she had added to his mimic device. "Mr. Fantastic can stretch his body in all directions and all sorts of shapes. These buttons will let you morph the projected image however you want."

Jackson pushed one of the buttons and laughed as his arm began to stretch across the room. He touched the other wall and smiled at her. "This is cool!"

"I know!" Sam grinned. "Hey, Newbie! I've got something else for you."

Cam stopped pretend-sparring with Teal'c in his Thing costume and studied the device she was holding out to him. "What is it?"

"It's an Asgard anti-grav device," said Sam. "The Human Torch can fly."

Cam gasped so hard he thought his eyeballs might pop right out of his head. "That can make me fly?"

"Well, technically, it's only hovering. But for short periods it can look like you're flying."

She showed him how it worked, and soon enough, he was floating in the air near the ceiling, his costume flaming around him. Flying without a fighter jet was totally awesome.

"That's it," said Sam. "I think we're ready."

Jackson looked out the window. "That's good. It's starting to get dark."

"Hey, Teal'c?" Cam asked. "What time is it?"

Teal'c pounded one fist into his other palm with a grin. "It is indeed time for clobbering!"

Cam shrugged and lowered himself down to the floor. "Close enough."

"Should we not begin our solicitation for sugary confections?"

"Yeah!" Cam slung his arm around Teal'c's shoulders. "That's what I'm talkin' about! Let's go get some candy!"

There was a knock on the door, and Teal'c turned off his mimic device. "Did you purchase sweets for the children who will visit you, Daniel Jackson?"

"I have some chocolate in the kitchen," Jackson answered as he took Sam's hand. "Um, Sam. If Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman are married, then, um..." He shifted on his feet and ran a hand through his hair. "Maybe we should, I don't know...kiss or something?"

Sam gave a broad smile and wrapped her arms around Jackson's neck. "I think that's a good idea."

Teal'c moved past Cam to open the front door. Cam grimaced as Jackson and Sam locked lips. That guy was definitely going to die a horrible death by cootie infestation.

"What the hell?

Cam turned around to see General O'Neill standing in the doorway. Uh oh. Busted.

**To be concluded...  
Please read and review. **

**_Happy Halloween, everyone! _**


	3. Chapter 3

**-- Chapter Three -- **

Jack couldn't help but stare at the couple kissing in the middle of the room before him. "Did I miss something?" he asked, stepping into Daniel's house.

Carter and Daniel separated, goofy grins on each of their faces. They turned to look at him for a moment before Carter planted a big kiss on Daniel's cheek. "We're married!" she said with a giddy laugh.

For the first time in his life, Jack found himself speechless. He took another step into the room. Then he was suddenly distracted by something even more shocking than Carter and Daniel tying the knot and not even inviting him to the party. There was a man standing near the wall, totally engulfed in flames.

A fiery hand waved in the air. "Hi, General! Happy Halloween!"

That voice was familiar. Jack squinted into the flames. "Mitchell? You, uh, you okay in there?"

"That's what I forgot!" said Daniel, smacking his forehead with his palm. "I totally forgot you were coming by tonight, Jack!"

"Uh huh." Looking back and forth between Carter, Daniel and Mitchell, Jack noticed that no one else seemed concerned that Mitchell was on fire. So he just shrugged and went with it. "You guys wanna tell me what's going on?"

"We are celebrating the Tau'ri tradition of procuring sugary confections from strangers while in disguise."

Jack turned back to Teal'c and nearly jumped out of his skin. "Gah! T, you look like...The Thing."

"That is my intention, O'Neill."

"Okay, what's going on here?" Jack waved a finger at Carter and Daniel. "And when were you two going to tell me you finally got together?"

"Well, we're not really married," said Carter. Nevertheless, her hand stroked affectionately up and down Daniel's chest. "He's Mr. Fantastic and I'm the Invisible Woman. See?" And then she touched something on her wrist and vanished.

Oh crap. And suddenly this was all very, very bad. Something had clearly happened to SG-1 to make them all lose their marbles. How in the world had they even been allowed off the base? Jack fumbled for the cell phone in his pocket.

"Carter, you become visible right this second." Jack barely suppressed a groan at his words. "Damn! There goes another item on my list of 'orders I should never have to issue'."

"No fair! You were invisible for a whole week!" came her disembodied voice.

Oh, for crying out loud. "That's an order, Carter."

Thankfully, she complied. But she didn't look very pleased about it. In fact, she seemed to be pouting. "Party pooper," she grumbled.

"We were just about to go trick or treating, Jack." Daniel smiled at him. "You wanna come?"

"Actually, I think the four of you should come with me to the base."

Mitchell shook his flaming head. "I don't like that plan. It sounds boring. We want to have fun, and we're going trick or treating." He bounced down the hall, and Jack heard him open a closet door.

"It'll just be for a minute," said Jack. "There's, um, something I need to pick up."

Carter narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Sounds like a trick to me, sir. And Teal'c has his heart set on some treats tonight."

"Indeed," said Teal'c.

"And, um, there are four of us." Daniel wrinkled his nose at Jack. "And only one of you."

Now, Jack was sure he had seen everything. Little Danny-boy was threatening him. And he had a point. "How quickly they grow up," he muttered, shaking his head.

Suddenly, Daniel's eyes lit up. "Ooh! If you're coming with us, you should go in costume too! Hang on a minute!" He disappeared into another room and came back a few seconds later with a battery-operated camping lantern, tying a loop of string to its handle.

"Here," Daniel said as he turned the lantern on and looped it around Jack's neck.

Jack eyed him warily. "Uh, thanks."

"Don't you get it?" Daniel snickered giddily. "You're a Jack O'Lantern!"

Before Jack could properly tell Daniel what he thought of the idea, Mitchell reappeared with a handful of pillow cases. "Alright, gang! Let's blow this popsicle stand!"

They were all heading out, and Jack decided they needed someone to keep an eye on them. Mitchell had turned off his costume for the walk, but Jack wasn't sure how long it'd stay that way.

The four of them practically skipped down the sidewalk. Jack followed, pulling out his cell phone on the way. After dialling the direct line to Landry's office, he quickly explained the situation. Landry assured Jack that an extraction team would soon be en route.

SG-1 turned up a sidewalk and knocked on the door to a small house. Jack could hardly believe his ears when Carter giggled after Daniel whispered something in her ear.

The door opened and a young woman with a child clinging to her leg looked out.

"Trick or treat!" shouted SG-1.

The woman looked them up and down. "Aren't you a little old for trick or treating?"

The little boy on her leg stared up at Teal'c, or rather The Thing, with his mouth hanging open.

Mitchell waved at the child and smiled at the woman. "You get better quality costumes with older kids, y'know."

"Well, I admit, that one's pretty impressive," she said, pointing to Teal'c. "But what are the rest of you supposed to be?"

Carter leaned on Daniel, wrapping her arm around his waist. "We're the Fantastic Four! And I'm the Invisible Woman!"

"You're not invisible!" accused the little boy.

"Oh yeah? Watch this!" Carter activated her Sodan cloak and, naturally, disappeared.

The little boy's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his head. "Whoa!"

Jack just sighed. This was going to be a fun mess to clean up. Where was that extraction team?

"Think that's cool? Check this out!"

Jack groaned as Mitchell activated his 'costume' and burst into flames. The poor woman screamed and clutched at her child, trying to drag the boy inside.

Then, Mitchell rocketed into the air and hovered about ten feet overhead. Jack laughed weakly and brought a hand to his forehead. "So this is what a stroke feels like."

Carter rematerialized as Daniel held out his pillow case. "Trick or treat!" he said. And then his arms stretched a good five feet, covering the distance between the group of costumed freaks and the terrified mother and her fascinated little boy.

Wow. When Carter designed costumes, she really went all out, didn't she? It was a damned good thing she was on Earth's side.

Mercifully, a large, black van showed up at that moment. "Okay, kids. Time to go. Mitchell, you get down here right now."

"But we didn't get any candy!" moaned Carter.

The rebellious superheroes were rounded up by the Marines of SG-3 and tucked into the waiting vehicle. All of the alien technology they had was confiscated.

Jack nodded to the woman before following them. "Sorry for the trouble, ma'am."

"How–how did they—?" She raised a trembling finger to the sky and then pointed toward the van.

Jack puffed out his cheeks as he blew out a breath. Explanations were Carter's forte, not his, so he shrugged. "Magnets." Then he climbed into the waiting vehicle to go back to the SGC. There'd be a solution to this complete weirdness at the base.

They were barely out of Daniel's neighbourhood when Mitchell started whining. "Quit it!"

Jack turned around to see Carter and Daniel getting all snuggly in the middle seat. At the back of the van, sitting between two smirking Marines, Teal'c had a single finger hovering an inch away from Mitchell's nose.

"There is nothing to quit, for I am not touching you," said Teal'c.

Mitchell swatted at the Jaffa's hand. "Knock it off!"

Jack had had enough. "Don't make me pull this car over!"

The Lieutenant driving the car snickered quietly. Jack pointed a finger at him. "Don't you start."

The rest of the drive to the mountain was relatively uneventful. Mitchell and Teal'c were pouting in the back, and thankfully, the only noise was the occasional giggle from the snuggling scientists.

Jack and the Marines almost managed to bring everyone inside in an orderly fashion. Landry was waiting for them outside an isolation room. He wore a stern expression, and the members of SG-1 had the good sense to look chagrined.

"I told you we were going to get caught!" grumbled Mitchell.

Carter snorted. "Oh, you are in so much trouble!"

"It was your idea!"

"But you're the one who's," she made quotes with her fingers and waved them in the air, "'in charge', remember?"

"Why you little..." Surprisingly, Mitchell lunged for Carter, but she darted out of his reach. Either Mitchell had a death wish, or he hadn't seen Carter's hand-to-hand combat skills yet. She could be damned scary.

Then Carter put her thumbs to her temples and waggled her fingers at Mitchell. "Neener, neener, neeeeener!"

Jack struggled to control his laughter. She certainly wasn't very scary now. "That's it," he said, trying his best to look angry. He pointed to the isolation room and stomped one foot on the floor. "All of you, go to your room!"

After a lot of moaning and eye-rolling, the four of them eventually shuffled through the door.

Landry and Jack went up to the observation room and looked in on SG-1. Carter and Daniel were sitting against a wall. Her head was leaning on his shoulder and their fingers were intertwined as they talked to each other. Teal'c was holding Mitchell at bay with one hand on the Colonel's head and the other behind his back. Mitchell was swinging his arms at the Jaffa as he leaned into Teal'c's hand, but couldn't reach his target.

"I have a hazmat team visiting the planet SG-1 just came back from," said Landry.

Mitchell seemed to give up and moved to a bed. He dragged the mattress onto the floor and began jumping up and down on it. Teal'c watched him for a moment and then followed suit with the second bed.

"Well," said Jack, pointing at the activity below. "That right there is worth the trip from DC."

The off-world activation alarms sounded, and Jack and Landry headed to the gate room to greet the returning team. They reported that SG-1's unusual behaviour was the result of a ceremonial beverage, and they should be back to normal by the next day.

Jack did his best not to let it show that he found the entire situation incredibly amusing. How they hadn't learned by now that ceremonial drinks and cakes were a bad idea was beyond him. He went back to the observation room and found the four kids in the midst of an epic pillow fight.

He flipped on the intercom system. Shrieks of laughter filled the small booth. It looked like a lot of fun, and Jack almost wished he could join them. Teal'c became the clear winner of the battle when he began using a mattress as his weapon of choice. Jack was pretty sure that counted as cheating, but he wasn't about to deny the Jaffa his fun.

Eventually, the four of them calmed down and fell asleep. Curling up in his chair, Jack did the same. He definitely wanted to be here when they woke up.

--------------------------------

The tinny sound of a moan coming through the speakers woke Jack. Scrubbing a palm against his cheek, he squinted through the window overlooking the isolation room. Carter was stirring. She was laying half on top of Daniel, who had his arms wrapped firmly around her body.

Jack watched as she pried her eyes open and looked around. She wrinkled her nose at the room and placed one hand on her forehead as she turned to inspect her Daniel-pillow.

"Not a dream then," she muttered, her head thumping down to Daniel's chest. Her pillow grunted in response. "Sorry."

"Are we dead?" came Daniel's mumbling early-morning voice.

Carter groaned. "No. But we might be soon enough."

"I wish they'd get on with it."

Mitchell stirred across the room. "Ow, my head." He managed to push himself into a half-sitting position but, with a look of defeat, collapsed back against his mattress.

It was time to get this party started. Jack flipped the switch to activate his microphone. "Good morning, campers!" he said as cheerfully and as loudly as he could manage.

Carter and Mitchell abruptly sat up, then moaned and clutched at their heads.

Jack grinned giddily at them. "How are we all feeling this fine morning?"

A pillow sailed across the room from Daniel's position. It bounced off the window and fell to the ground. "Keep it down, Jack."

"Well, aren't we just Mr. Grumpy-Pants today? What's the matter? Wake up on the wrong side of Carter?"

The room practically glowed with the vibrancy of Carter's blush. Jack watched as a few seconds of silent conversation passed between her and Daniel. It was about time those two got it out in the open. He made a mental note to discuss the new situation between the two scientists of SG-1 with Landry. It just wouldn't do for all of Mitchell's hard work reassembling the team to be unravelled because of something that had been simmering away in the background for practically forever.

Once the two of them seemed to reach an agreement, Jack tapped his finger firmly on the microphone. They all covered their ears, and he grinned. "Or is the real problem a bit of a hangover from all that nummy juice you guys drank off-world?"

Teal'c stood up, placing a steadying hand on the wall next to him. Nearby, Mitchell wobbled to his feet and sent a horrified glance to Jack's window.

"Oh yes, I know all about it. The Ritual of Rejuvenation. The franbu juice." He looked over at Carter and Daniel, who were helping each other off the floor. "And I was there for the, uh, 'borrowed' technology and the Halloween hijinx. And my personal favourite, the insubordination. Hey, do they still put people in the stocks? There are some tomatoes going bad in my fridge that I'd just hate to waste."

Jack realised he was probably having far too much fun enjoying their misery, but he didn't get opportunities like this very often anymore. The stuffed shirts and suits in DC were incredibly boring. Damn, he missed the SGC.

"General O'Neill," said Mitchell. "I take full responsib—"

Carter held up a hand, shaking her head and turning to Jack. "No, sir. It was—"

"There's plenty of blame to go around," Jack interrupted. "But I think it can all be worked out without too much trouble." He grinned at them, knowing that none of them would actually be held accountable for their actions.

"Not guilty by reason of chemical impairment," he said with a decisive nod. In fact, Jack would see to that. There was certainly precedent for it.

Carter gave him a relieved smile. "Thank you, sir."

They all seemed to be recovering from their headaches now that they were up and moving. Yes, everything was getting back to normal. Then, just to prove Jack wrong, Carter turned and planted a sloppy kiss on Mitchell's cheek.

Jack stood up, alarmed, as Mitchell backed away. The Colonel wiped the back of his hand across his face and stared at Carter with an incredulous look on his face.

"Uh, thanks," said Mitchell. "That was...moist."

Carter winked at him. "Just making sure you weren't going to die from my cooties."

Daniel's arm slipped around her waist, and he pulled her close. "Why not give me some of those?"

Jack chuckled as Daniel pulled her into a rather passionate kiss. Excellent. This was what he had been missing the last several months in DC. He'd have to make a point of finding excuses to visit Colorado more often. And maybe he'd take a little trip off-world to get some of that franbu juice. Just for the hell of it.

**THE END  
Please read and review. **

_**Final notes: **Thanks to drgemini86 for the fix of my spelling of 'hijinx', and to both jquist and Jess13 for the much improved punctuation of "Jack O'Lantern"! See what constructive criticism does? It makes stories better!! Thanks guys! You rock!_


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